A Note From a Father

This post is a belated Father's Day reflection.  Originally, I didn't think that I would do one but as I reflected more on the importance of fatherhood, I decided to go ahead and post some thoughts below as I believe living in today's society, we all need an ongoing reminder of the importance and significance of fatherhood.

Living in postmodern America: the absenteeism of fatherhood

We can see the affects of postmodernism every day in America.  We do not need to look any further than the home.  Today, the statistics show that more and more people are not even getting married.  They are simply living with each other and having children out of wedlock.  There was a time in my own life when I saw a couple or a family living together under the same roof, I naturally assumed the mom and dad were married.  When we first moved in our neighborhood and got to know one particular family, I thought the mom and dad were married as they were living with each other, had kids and acted as if they were.  It was only a year later that I discovered they were not married.  I have another neighbor living with a woman who professes Christ.  I thought the woman he was living with was his wife and later found after several years that it was not.There was a time in my own life when I saw a couple or a family living together under the same roof, I naturally assumed the mom and dad were married.  I no longer assume that couples living together or who have kids are married.  Our postmodern society is one that no longer values marriage or family.

I live in Wisconsin which to date has the highest rate of single moms in the country.  Recently, our girls were invited to a friend's birthday party from pre-school.  At the party, the little girl's father was not there.  When I inquired as to the whereabouts of the father the answer was that the father is not in the picture at all and this little girl "does not even know who her father is."  Unfortunately, stories like this are common across the land.

What are the consequences?

I once heard the single mom of another young single mom who at the time recently had a baby remark, "Single moms don't need fathers."  Really?  This is the unfortunate lie that permeates through our culture in the midst of fathers who do not want to take on the responsibility of being a parent.

We do not have to look far to see the devastating peril of what happens when fathers abandon their children.  Take a look at the prisons.  When one surveys the prisons, many of the convicts were ones where there was no father present.  The absence of the father is leading to ongoing dysfunction in the family and in the lives of children which in turn has far reaching consequences in society and the church.

There are numerous men who turn to homosexuality desperate for the male affection they did not receive from having a father.  And there are plenty of girls who seduce older men in an effort to appease an emotional state they have from not being able to connect with a father in their life.

The consequences on our society from there not being a father in the picture in many families cannot be overstated.

We were made to be courageous

I really enjoyed last year's movie from Sherwood Pictures, Courageous as it hit a nerve by addressing this issue.  The movie did an accurate job of portraying what can happen and does happen when there is no father present in the life of a child.  And it contains a powerful message to fathers to stand up and be the men God has called us to be (Joshua 1:9).

Ephesians 6:4 says, "“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”   We are not to provoke our children in a way that is mean or harsh.  Contrary we are to provide them with wise and godly counsel from the Word of God all the while modeling Christ.

What an amazing responsibility we have before the Lord.  Being a present father, showing and displaying the love of Christ to our children produces spiritually and emotionally healthy children which in turn produces godly churches which in turn contributes to a healthy society.  The impact that we as fathers have on our children is profound.

Single moms need fathers now, more than ever.  May we be ever reminded of the ongoing responsibility we have with our children as we seek to mirror the face of our Heavenly Father.